19
Jun

UNIX Consultant

Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question.

Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?

UNIX consultant: Yes, thats correct.

Customer: No, what is it?

UNIX consultant: Yes.

Customer: So, which is the one?

UNIX consultant: No. which is used to find the program.

Customer: Stop this. Who are you?

UNIX consultant: Use who am i not who r yoo. You can also finger yoo to
get information about yoo.

Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code.

UNIX consultant: Use what.

Customer: Thats what I am trying to find out. Isnt that true?

UNIX consultant: No. true gives you 0.

Customer: Which one?

UNIX consultant: true gives you 0. which programname.

Customer: Lets get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?

UNIX consultant: Type find / -name it -print to find it. Type what program
to get the revision code.

Customer: I want to find the revision code.

UNIX consultant: You cant find revisioncode, you must use what program.

Customer: Which command will do what I need?

UNIX consultant: No. which command will find command.

Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.

UNIX consultant: You can write that only if that is a user on your system.

Customer: Write what?

UNIX consultant: No. write that. what program.

Customer: Cut that out!

UNIX consultant: Yes, those are valid files for cut. Dont forget the options.

Customer: Do you always do this?

UNIX consultant: du will give you disk usage.

Customer: HELP!

UNIX consultant: help is only used for Source Code Control System.

Customer: You make me angry.

UNIX consultant: No, I dont make me angry, but I did make programname when
I was upset once.

Customer: I dont want to make trouble, so no more.

UNIX consultant: No more? which will help you find more. Every system has
more.

Customer: Nice help! Im confused more now!

UNIX consultant: Understand that since help is such a small program, it is
better not to nice help. And more now is not allowed but at now is.
Unless, of course, now is a file name.

Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.

UNIX consultant: I didnt know you needed help with pc. Let me get you to the
Pascal compiler team…

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