An Unlikely Conversation

(written by Terry Herrin in a reply on Software Creations BBS)

Bart Id like to upgrade my Siamese to an Abyssinian.

Clerk Do you want a red or a tan Abby?

Bart I dunno. Is there a difference besides the color?

Clerk Well, the red one is faster, but costs quite a bit more. Personally, I dont think its worth it. The price/performance isnt as good as the tan one.

Bart Do you think I need that extra speed?

Clerk Depends on what youre getting it for. Any big dogs near your house?

Bart Yes.

Clerk Well then, youd better go ahead and get the red one. Unless you want to save money and get the tan. The tan is up-gradable to the red later. We offer our Red Dye Overdrive Kit for $100. Seventy percent increase in performance.

Bart Lets go with a tan one.

Clerk Ok. Thats gonna run you $400. What size litterbox do you have?

Bart 10×12 inches.

Clerk Youre gonna have to replace it with a bigger one.

Bart Why?

Clerk A Siamese litterbox wont handle the demands of an Abby. You need at least a 14×16.

Bart Okay, how much is that gonna cost?

Clerk $20. Youre also gonna need a second water bowl.

Bart I am?

Clerk An Abby tends to run hotter than a Siamese. A second water bowl will keep the cat from overheating. Only $10.

Bart Ill take it.

Clerk You werent planning on putting that Abby in the same carrier as the Siamese, were you?

Bart Uh … yeah.

Clerk Not a good idea. The Abby might not fit, and even if it does youd probably want a bigger carrier for better air circulation.

Bart How much?

Clerk $100.

Bart Okay. Boy, Im almost buying a whole new cat setup.

Clerk Well, you can still use the same brushes, shampoo and cat toys.

Bart True. So, what do I do with the Siamese?

Clerk We dont take trade-ins. Maybe you can sell it.