We must, we must, we must improve…

Once there was this woman, who was, sad to say, very flat across
the upper body. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted
women walking away with handsome guys finally got to her. She decided
that she would have large tits at any cost.

At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger
breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers
they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She
went everywhere, but everything she tried came to no avail.

So she went home and cried and prayed for larger tits. After
several days of this, during one praying session, there was this
sudden poof, and her fairy godmother appeared before her.

Well, dearie, you want larger tits, do you?

Oh yes, oh yes, please fairy godmother, give me bigger tits. I
beg you, the woman implored.

Okay, okay, calm down. Ill do it, if you promise to stop
bothering me. Promise? the fairy godmother asked.

Yes, I promise!

Okay, then. Shish, swoosh, swash, liffiday-loffiday, balsshac,
boom! There. Now, dearie, whenever anyone says pardon to you, your
tits will grow one inch. Fine? Bye, dearie.

And with a flash and the smell of burnt hair, the fairy godmother

Of course, the lady wanted to try out her godmothers spell
immediately. She then ran out of her apartment and seeing some
unlucky passerby, collided with him and promptly fell to the ground.

Oh, pardon me. Im so sorry, are you alright?

Zzzzuuuuummmpp! Her tits bulged forward an inch. No, Im fine,
she laughed, as she ran back into her apartment. She inspected her
breasts. Oh, they were actually one inch larger; in fact, exactly one
inch. She decided to try again the next day.

At work, the following morning, she contrived to bump the manager
and spill her coffee into her lap.

Pardon me! Here, let me help clean you up, the manager said.
Zzzzuuuummmpp! Her tits jumped forward another inch. Oohhh, Ill
clean up myself. She ran into the womens bathroom and gleefully
examined her breasts. Two inches! Ive got to celebrate.

That night, she went to a posh Chinese restaurant. Aahh, Ill
treat myself to the best. After all, I could easily beat out Dolly
Parton by tomorrow. Ill be famous! As she sat there, a waiter
passed by, carrying an armful of aromatic dishes. She stretched,
delighting in the feel of her newfound breasts, … and her arm banged
into the waiters midsection.

The waiter fell with an audible Ooofff!!! sending dishes and
sauces all over her. Groveling, the waiter said to the lady, A
thousand pardons…

William Chuang

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