What women say and what they mean

Cant we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part
of his body touch any part of mine, again.

I just need some space = without you in it.

Do I look fat in this dress? = We havent had a fight in a while.

No, pizzas fine = Cheap bastard!

I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just dont want YOU as a boyfriend now.

I dont know; what do you want to do? = I cant believe that you have nothing
planned.

I like you, but = I dont like you.

You never listen = You never listen.

Were moving too quickly = I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if
this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

Ill be ready in a minute = I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because
I know you will.

Oh, no, I will pay for myself = I am just being nice; there is no way I am going
dutch.

Im just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you
and your friends.

Theres no one else = I am doing your brother.

Size doesnt matter = unless I want an orgasm.

What men say and what they mean

Im hungry = Im hungry.

Im sleepy = Im sleepy.

Im tired = Im tired.

Ive gotta pee = Get out of the way.

Ive gotta GO = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

Can I call you sometime? = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie? = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I get your coat? = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

Let me get your door. = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = Id eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice Tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.

Whats wrong? = I dont see why are you making such a big deal out of this.

Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you
going through now?

Whats wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

Im bored. = Do you want to have sex?

I love you. = Lets have sex now.

I love you too. = Okay, I said it…wed better have sex now!

Good morning. = That was great sex……lets have more!

See you later. = That was great sex……lets have more!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesnt look that much
different!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = For $50 they should have GIVEN you
hair!

Lets talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and
maybe then youd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other
guys.

Will you marry me? = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these
talks

While shopping

Yes, that ones nice = Why do you ask when you arent going to listen anyway?

That one looks great on you = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home!

I like that one better. = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home!

Uh huh = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home!

I dont think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.

It makes you look fat = Im really stupid!