MONA LISAS JEWISH MOTHER:
After all that money your father and I spent on braces, thats the
biggest smile you can give us?
COLUMBUS JEWISH MOTHER:
I dont care what youve discovered, you still could have written!
MICHELANGELOS JEWISH MOTHER:
Cant you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how
hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
NAPOLEONS JEWISH MOTHER:
All right, if you arent hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take
your hand out of there and show me.
ABRAHAM LINCOLNS JEWISH MOTHER:
Again with the hat? Cant you just wear a baseball cap like the other
kids?
GEORGE WASHINGTONS JEWISH MOTHER:
The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can
kiss
your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISONS JEWISH MOTHER:
Of course Im proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn
it off and get to bed!
PAUL REVERES JEWISH MOTHER:
I dont care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is
past
your curfew.
And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:
ALBERT EINSTEINS JEWISH MOTHER:
But its your senior picture. Couldnt you do something about your
hair?
MOSES JEWISH MOTHER:
Thats a nice story. Now tell me where youve really been for the last
forty years.