18
Oct

What theirJewish Mothers might have said

MONA LISAS JEWISH MOTHER:


After all that money your father and I spent on braces, thats the


biggest smile you can give us?



COLUMBUS JEWISH MOTHER:


I dont care what youve discovered, you still could have written!



MICHELANGELOS JEWISH MOTHER:


Cant you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how


hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?



NAPOLEONS JEWISH MOTHER:


All right, if you arent hiding your report card inside your jacket,


take


your hand out of there and show me.



ABRAHAM LINCOLNS JEWISH MOTHER:


Again with the hat? Cant you just wear a baseball cap like the other


kids?



GEORGE WASHINGTONS JEWISH MOTHER:


The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can


kiss


your allowance good-bye!



THOMAS EDISONS JEWISH MOTHER:


Of course Im proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now


turn


it off and get to bed!



PAUL REVERES JEWISH MOTHER:


I dont care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is


past


your curfew.



And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:



ALBERT EINSTEINS JEWISH MOTHER:


But its your senior picture. Couldnt you do something about your


hair?



MOSES JEWISH MOTHER:


Thats a nice story. Now tell me where youve really been for the last


forty years.

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