Recent newspaper articles are touting a new treatment for impotence. The treatment consists of injecting a drug into the base of the penis with a small painless needle, almost guaranteeing an erection of massive proportion (The best ever in my life says Joe F. Lacid). Not content to just be big, it will last for TWO WHOLE HOURS. Now, my question is:

WHAT WILL I DO FOR FOLLOWING HOUR & 55 MINUTES?

Here are some suggestions:

Use it as a lightning rod
Set it up as a weather vane
Try it as a swizzle stick (not a coffee stirrer)
Play Tether Ball
Use it as a fishing pole
Be patriotic – use it as a Flag Pole
Its a handy coat rack
With an appropriate partner, its a Jousting Lance
Play pool with your custom Cue Stick
Star Wars Light Sabre
A Flight Simulator Joy Stick
Drive around, use it as you Shift Lever
Summer Olympics – try the Pole Vault
Your own Karaoke Microphone
Its a Magic Wand – wave it at someone
Play Ball – Its a Fungo Bat

and

It can be your kittys new scratching post