When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesnt look like a cheap hooker.
A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.
A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and wont say, Hey, look at the size of that dick … I didnt know they made em that big!
Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.
A Christmas tree doesnt care if you have a plastic one in the closet.
It always smells fresh as a forest.
A Christmas tree doesnt care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.
A Christmas tree doesnt get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.
You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
A Christmas tree doesnt get mad if you look up underneath it.
When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
A Christmas tree doesnt get jealous around other Christmas trees.
A Christmas tree doesnt care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
A Christmas tree doesnt get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.