15
Aug

Why cucumbers are better than men

You can enjoy a cucumber all night long.
You dont have to drink wine and dine with a cucumber before getting to the fun stuff.
Your cucumber will always wait patiently for you in the car while you go shopping.
When your cucumber goes soft you toss it.
Cucumbers cant tell time, so they dont know when youre late.
A cucumber doesnt get jealous when you grab another cucumber (or even a carrot!)
When you go to the grocery store, you can always pick up a cucumber.
A cucumber wont get upset if you come home with another cucumber on your breath (or a fresh leafy vegetable in your pocket).
If you eat a cucumber right, you always have a mouthful.
You can have more than one cucumber a night and not feel guilty (theyre low in calories)
A cucumber always goes down easy.
You can share a cucumber with friends.
You always know when youre the first one to eat a cucumber.
A cucumber is always hard.
You can have a cucumber in public
A frigid cucumber is a fresh cucumber.
You dont have to wash a cucumber before it tastes good.
The older a cucumber, the larger it gets.
Cucumbers dont fool around.
You can keep a cucumber in your apartment without upsetting your mother.
Cucumbers cant get you pregnant.
Cucumbers dont get drunk (although they have been known to get pickled now and then)

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