Why Hanukkah is Better Than Christmas

Theres no Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special
Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).
No need to clean the chimney.
Theres no latke-nog.
Burl Ives doesnt sing Hanukkah songs.
You wont be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.
You wont see, Youre a Putz, Charlie Brown.
No barking dog version of I had a Little Driedl.
No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.
Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.

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