Why I fired my secretary

One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:

Two weeks ago, I said, was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasnt feeling too
hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my
wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for
me. She didnt even say Good Morning let alone say Happy Birthday.

I said to myself Well thats wives for you. The children will remember.
But the children came into breakfast and didnt say a word. And when I started
to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, Janet said Good Morning, Boss–Happy Birthday
and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, You know
its such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so lets go to
lunch, just you and I. I said, By George, that is the greatest thing I have
heard all day. Lets go.

We went to lunch. We didnt go where we normally go, we went out into the
country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch

On the way back to the office, she said, You know, its such a beautiful day
we dont need to go back to the office, do we? I said, No, I guess not.

She said, Lets go by my apartment, and Ill fix you another Martini.

We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette
and she said, Boss, if you dont mind, I think Ill go into the bedroom and
slip into something more comfortable and I allowed her as I didnt mind at

She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom
carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were
singing Happy Birthday and there I sat with nothing on but my socks.

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