28
May

Windows 95 Sourcecode

/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code

Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date: Spring 1996

*/

#include stdio.h
#include dos.h
#include conio.h
#include win31.h
#include evenmore.h
#include oldstuff.h
#include billrulz.h

/*
Reference:
Internal memo: #99281-95
from: William H. Gates III
to: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project

William H. Gates III wrote:
I have serious doubts about the EASY
installation-definition.
It might prevent customers to think that they actually
bought something _good_. Therefore I want the
installation-definition to be HARD.

Carry on,
Bill

*/
#define INSTALL = HARD

void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{ display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{ make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if(still_not_crashed)
{ display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

/*
Reference:
Internal memo: #99683-95
from: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
to: William H. Gates III

Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:

Dear Sir,
Since we have found that this last piece of code
within the if-statement will never execute, we
descided NOT to include it in the final code.
This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes
of consumer-diskspace!

Thank you for listening to us,
the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project

*/
/* if(still_not_crashed) {
write_cheer();
finished();
}
*/ create_general_protection_fault();
}

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