07
Jun

Womens Advice to Men

  • The reason why our bras dont always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

  • The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

  • If were watching football with you – its not bonding – its the butts.

  • If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.

  • Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

  • Dont fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.

  • Please dont drive when youre not driving.

  • Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

  • Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths you take.

  • If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldnt ask in bed.

  • The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

  • If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of whos easy?

  • Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we dont care.

  • When youre not around, I belch loudly, too.

  • Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life – youll never see the island coming.

  • Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.

  • Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that y chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

  • Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

  • Your balding is a good thing – it subsidizes our hair care expenses.

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