Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldnt bring himself to tell his fiancee about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, Darling, Ive got a big surprise for you, at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.

The wedding night came and went, and the young couple were at last alone in their hotel room. Now dont forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise, said the bride.

Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wifes hand on the stump.

Hmmmmm, she said softly, that IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and Ill see what I can do!