WARNING!!! This one has some profanity.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Moneys Tight

Times Are Hard

Heres Your Fuckin

Christmas Card!

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Everybody felt shitty

Even the mouse,

Mom at the whorehouse

And dad smoking grass

Id Just settled down

For a nice piece of ass,

When out on the lawn

I heard such a clatter

I sprung from my piece

To see what was the matter,

Then out on the lawn

I saw a big dick

I knew in a moment

It must be Saint Nick

He came down the chimney

Like a bat out of hell

I knew in a moment

The fucker had fell

He filled all our stockings

With pretzels and beer

And a big rubber dick

For my brother the queer

He rose up the chimney

With a thunderous fart

The son of a bitch

Blew the chimney apart

He swore and he cursed

As he rode out of sight

Piss on you all

And have a hell of a night