Yall jes might be a redneck if …

  • Yave ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.

  • Yave ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.

  • Yave ever hit a deer with your car… on purpose!

  • Yave ever hollered Rock the house, Bubba! during a piano recital

  • Yave ever stabbed the back of someones hand while they were reaching for the last piece of chicken.

  • Yave ever stolen toilet paper.

  • Yave ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.

  • Yave ever used lard in bed.

  • Yave ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

  • Yave ever yelled squeal like a piggy when making love.

  • Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

  • Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.

  • Your dog has ever brought home something that ya cooked for dinner.

  • Your dog passes gas and ya claim it.

  • Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.

  • Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police.

  • Your house doesnt have curtains but your truck does.

  • Your house still has the WIDE LOAD sign on the back.

  • Your kids take a siphon hose to Show and Tell.

  • Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.

  • Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

  • Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

  • Your wife has a beer belly and ya find it attractive.

  • Your richest relative buys a new house and ya have to help take the wheels off of it.

  • Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

  • Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

  • Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language.

  • Yave ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

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