Old, I told her to act her own age, and she died.



poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked

her what she was doing, she said Moving.



nasty, her hairy armpits look like shes got

Buckwheat in a headlock.



ugly, when she puts her face next to the bowl trying to

hear snap-crackle-pop, all she heard was ARGHHHHHHHH!!!

Lets get the hell outta here.



old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.



poor, they put her picture on food stamps.



old, she owes Jesus Christ a quarter.



old, her social security number is 1.



poor, she cant even pay attention.



poor, she went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and

licked everyone elses fingers.



old, she knew Burger King When he was a prince.



old, shes got Jesus beeper number.



glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map,

she can see people waving at her



ugly, cockroaches go like this HI! MOM



poor, when she heard about Last Supper, she

thought she ran out of food stamps



old, she planted the first tree at Central Park



old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp



ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so

that he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye.



old, that when she was in school there was no history class.



old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.



old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.



poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,DING!



poor, she ate cereal with a fork to save milk.



hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her!



skinny, she turned sideways and dissapeared.



poor, she went to McDonalds and had to put

her french fries on lay-a-way.



old, she knew Captain Crunch when he was a private



nearsighted, she can see the future



old, her birth certificate says Expired on it.



old, she was Bob Doles baby sitter.