You can tell its going to be a rotten day when:

• You wake up face down on the pavement.

• You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

• You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

• You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.

• Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

• You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there arent any.

• You turn on the TV and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

• Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

• Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels on the freeway.

• Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.

• The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

• You wake up and your braces are locked together.

• You walk to work and find your dress is stuck to the back of your pantyhose.

• You call your answering service and they tell you its none of your business.

• Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

• You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

• Your pet rock snaps at you.

• Your wife says, Good morning, Bill, and your name is George.