You Know Youre Getting Older When…

Everything hurts and what doesnt hurt, doesnt work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like the night after, and you havent been anywhere.

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

You get winded playing chess.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

Youre still chasing women but cant remember why.

A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is 25 Years Ago Today…

You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.

You sit in a rocking chair and cant get it going.

Your knees buckle and your belt wont.

You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.

After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

Youre startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.

You just cant stand people who are intolerant.

You burn the midnight oil until 9 PM.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.