You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If …

Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage colour.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry Hill.
You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. (cause todays the day the teddy bears have their picnic)
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that the Stormtroopers Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.
Your master ever said My finger you will pull..hmmm?
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didnt have to wait for a commercial. (Must try this one)
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, Shoot, son come on over t the dark side … itll be a hoot.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

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