You might just be white trash if …

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.

Your school fight song was Dueling Banjos.

Your wife has ever said, Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.

You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.