Dos maricas se detienen a la orilla de la carretera y uno de ellos penetra entre los arbustos con el fin de evacuar.

Después de un rato, el sarasa regresa todo pálido y afligido.

¿Pero qué te pasó?, le pregunta alarmado su compañero.

Aborté, responde compungido el afeminado.

¡Ay, tonta, no me espantes! ¡Nosotras no abortamos!

Sí, ven, acompáñame. ¡Mira sus manitas, mira sus ojitos…!

¡Estúpida! ¡Te cagaste en un sapo!

El padre se dirige a sus feligreses:

Si tienen fe sanarán, si tienen fe sanarán; pongan su mano sobre la parte afectada y el milagro ocurrirá.

Una pareja de viejitos está oyendo el sermón. El septuagenario disimuladamente baja la mano y la pone en la ingle. La viejita lo ve y le dice:

Viejo, él habló de milagro de sanación, no de resurrección.

Joke found on http://www.loschistes.com

I thought I would share a transcript of a particularly productive moment in my 9th grade English (sic) class:



We watched the end of Zeferellis Romeo & Juliet today in class. During the scene in which Romeo discovers Juliet, who appears to be dead, lying in the Capulet family crypt, the following discussion occurred:



Julio Baez: Yo, hes gonna jump on her!

Ms. Young: Julio, nowhere on this planet would that be an appropriate thing to say.

Julio: No, Ms. Young! I think hes a hermaphrodite!

Ms. Young: Julio, hes not a hermaphrodite.

Julio: No, Ms. Young! For real! Theres really people who like to have sex with dead people!

Ms. Young: Yes, but theyre not called hermaphrodites, theyre called necrophiliacs.

Julio: (Aside to Felix) Shes so stupid. (To me) No Ms. Young, necrophiliac is when you have that disease where you cant stop bleeding.



At least theyre learning something.

He had to get to the body shop.

Two Surds were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes
into the flight, the Captain announces, One of the engines has failed
and the flight will be an hour longer. But dont worry, we have three
engines left.
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announces, One more engine has
failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But dont worry, we have
two engines left.
An hour later, the Captain announces, One more engine has failed
and the flight will be three hours longer. But dont worry, we have one
engine left.
One Surdarji looked at the other and said, If we lose one more
engine, well be up here all day!

A seal thought he would take a break from the beach, and decided to go for a drive. He was happily driving along the highway, slurping on his ice-cream when suddenly his car broke down. He called out a mechanic, who spent a few minutes examining the car. He said, It looks like youve blown a seal. The seal replied, No, its just ice-cream.

You might be a redneck if you steal bank canisters and use them as food containers!