You so poor when i walked in your mamas house i steped on a roach your mama said clap your hans stump your feet prase the lord we got something to eat.

A simple alternative, now that McDonalds has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany can just barely obtain four Big Macs, the IW said.

Conclusion: based on the Big Mac index, the dollar is undervalued, the institute said.

Americans can get their best Big Mac buy these days in Moscow, where one sandwich costs only about 59 cents.

But Russians must work nearly two days in order to afford this meaty capitalist achievement – longer than people in any other country, the IW said.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

184. Study computer science and listen to techno while talking about robots taking over the world.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

131. Sign your roommate up for various activities (Campus tour guide, blood donor, peer tutoring).

A dead Scotsman.

Those who cant write, write help files.

How many light beer drinkers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

Jim Goldmans joke reminded me of an oldie but goodie:

Fred and Myra were residents at the local old age home. One day, Fred came shuffling past Myra when she waved him over.

Fred, she said, Ill bet I can guess how old you are.

Okay, replied Fred, go ahead. Tell me how old I am.

Well, you got to pull down your pants first Fred.

What are ya talkin about Myra?

I can only tell how old you are if you pull down your pants Fred.

Shrugging his shoulders, Fred obliges and pulls down his pants. Myra tells him to pull down his underpants as well.

Thinking why not? he pulls down his underpants as well. Myra peers at his privates, inspecting from all angles. She takes his equipment in hand, moves it around a bit, feeling here and there. After some of this manipulation, she looks up at Fred and announces, Youre 87 years old.

Astonished, Fred looks at her in amazement!

How did you figure that out Myra?!?!?

Fred — you told me yesterday.

Yo momma sooo poor that i saw her kicking a can down the street, so i asked her what she was doing,

and she said movin.

A: Theres writing on the whiteout.