Pfizer Corp (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola Bottling Group (NYSE PBG) as a power beverage, suitable for use as-is, or a mixer, under the name Mount and Do.

Pepsis proposed ad campaign suggests:

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in the Act.

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy can I ride on your back?

Daddy was relieved that Johnnys not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, he agrees.

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!

How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home!

Rogers Chocolates is a company that produces possibly the
most wonderful chocolates on the face of this here Earth.

They have a store up in Whistler, BC, and while I was late
getting to the store, I did enjoy the sign in the window:

Sorry, were
C L O S E D
Try not to drool on the windows

A student walks into a car showroom and after a long talk with a
salesman, he picks the car he wants to buy.

— Do you have the cash to pay for it, Sir, or will you be making
a hire purchase agreement?

— Ill buy it on HP, thanks.

So the student dictates his details to the salesman, who fills in the HP
application. Then, to the salesmans astonishment, he signs at the
bottom of the form with a big cross and a little cross.

— What are these crosses?

— Well, the big cross is my name and the little cross is BSc
(Agriculture).

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came


back.


She replied, So did my arthritis.

so there is this guy crossin the street.when suddenly he notices a car bearing down on him. the man jumps left, and the car swerves left, he jumps right the car swerves right, at the last moment the man panics and freezes.the car locks the brakes slides sideways right up to the man and lurches to a halt. just then the drivers window rolls down. a squirrel sticks his head out the window and says Its fucked up isnt it

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the Homosexual Agenda, but no one has ever seen a copy of it.

Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:

6:00 am Gym

8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9:00 am Hair appointment

10:00 am Shopping

12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM

Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
bulldoze all houses of worship, and
Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4:00 PM Cocktails

6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)

8:00 PM Theater

11:00 PM Bed (du jour)?

Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.