Two very drunk hillbillies were driving down a mountain road when suddenly they blew a tire, lost control of the car and went sailing over the cliffs edge.

As they plummeted downward, the hillbilly on the passenger side screamed hysterically, Oh, my God, Clem, were gonna die!

Aw, dont worry about a thing, Clem reassured him, looking below. Theres a stop sign at the bottom.

The hillbilly was whitewashing the interior of his country outhouse and had the misfortune of falling through the opening. Standing knee-deep in shit, he hollered, Fire! Fire! Fire! at the top of his lungs. The local fire department responded to the alarm on the double, with tires squealing and sirens screaming as they skidded to a halt in front of the privy.

Wheres the fire? called the chief.

Aint no fuckin fire, replied the farmer as they hoisted him out of the two-holer, but who the hell wouldve rescued me if Id yelled, Shit! Shit! Shit!?