25
Sep

Knock Knock Whos there? Delhi! Delhi who? Delhicatessen!

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Delhi!
Delhi who?
Delhicatessen!

25
Sep

Knock Knock Whos there? Toby! Toby who? Toby or

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Toby!
Toby who?
Toby or not toby, that is the question!

25
Sep

Orchestra joke

May I speak to the conductorA musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.

The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.

She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, I just like to hear you say it.

25
Sep

Un amigo le pregunta a

Un amigo le pregunta a otro, cuya prometida había roto su compromiso:

¿Qué no le hablaste de tu tío el millonario?

Sí, lo hice

¿Y que pasó?

¡Qué ahora ella se convirtió en mi tía!

25
Sep

Se celebran las Olimpiadas Especiales.

Se celebran las Olimpiadas Especiales. En la prueba de natación sale el primer competidor, sin brazos. Se lanza a la piscina y al cabo de 3 minutos la cruza. La gente aplaude el mérito.

Aparece el segundo competidor, sin brazos ni piernas. Se lanza a la piscina y 5 minutos después cruza la piscina. La gente, emocionada por el esfuerzo del deportista, se levanta y aplaude sin cesar.

Entonces, aparece el tercer competidor, sin brazos, sin piernas y sin tronco; sólo la cabeza. Lo colocan en el lugar de lanzamiento, le ponen el gorro y se tira a la piscina.

Quince minutos después, no salía nadie de la piscina, ni se veía ningún movimiento. Entonces, los de rescate se tiraron y lo sacaron, casi a punto de ahogarse.

¿Qué pasó?, le preguntan intrigados.

¡No joda, 5 años entrenando para nadar con las orejas! ¿Quién fue el hijueputa que me puso el gorro?

25
Sep

Una gringa llega a un

Una gringa llega a un hotel y pide un cuarto. El de la recepción le informa:

Sólo tenemos la habitación 194, pero ahí hay garrapatas.

No importa, dámela, exclama la mujer.

Le dan el cuarto y en la noche, cuando ya estaba dormida, entran tres tipos y se la agasajan. A la mañana siguiente, la gringa le reclama al dueño del hotel:

Mister, me mintieron, me dijeron que nomás había garrapatas, y resulta que también había garrachichis, garranalgas y garratodo.

25
Sep

Where is Jesus?

*** NOTE: This joke may be offensive to some.

STOP HERE if you are offended by religious jokes. ***

************************************************************



A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.



He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.

So he asked his class, Where is Jesus today?



Steven raised his hand and said, Hes in heaven.

Mary was called on and answered, Hes in my heart.



Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurts out –

I know! I know! Hes in our bathroom!!!



The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.



And Little Johnny said, Well…every morning, my father gets up,

bangs on the bathroom door, and yells –

Jesus Christ, are you still in there!?!

25
Sep

G-strings

Knock -Knock



Whos there ?





Icy





Icy who ?





Icy (I see) you G -strings

25
Sep

Knock Knock Whos there? Alfalfa! Alfalfa who? Alfalfa you,

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Alfalfa!
Alfalfa who?
Alfalfa you, if you give me a kiss!

25
Sep

Didnt make the cut…

A few childrens books that didnt make the cut:

1. You Are Different and Thats Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dads New Wife Robert

4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

8. All Cats Go to Hell

9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

10. Some Kittens Can Fly

11. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

12. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

13. Pop! Goes The Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games

14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

15. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things