Old and New Jokes

1. You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.2. Grandchildren are Gods reward for not killing your children.3. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.4. There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.5. Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.6. I asked Mom if I was a gifted child… she said they certainly wouldnt have paid for me.7. Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.8. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldnt have said.9. The main purpose of holding childrens parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.10. We child proofed our home 3 years ago and theyre still getting IN!11. Be nice to your kids. Theyll be choosing your nursing home.