Knock Knock
Whos there?
Delhi!
Delhi who?
Delhicatessen!
24
May
24
May
Una gallina que vivÃa en una granja lejana de la civilización llegó corriendo al chiquero de los puercos.
En el chiquero sólo se encontraba un puerquito bañándose de lodo. La gallina al verlo, se burla de el y le da la mala noticia: TE VAN A MATAR PUERQUITO.
El puerquito, preocupadÃsimo y todo palido de la impresión del comentario de la gallina, le pregunta:
¿Y PORQUE DICES QUE ME VAN A MATAR GALLINITA?
La gallina le contesta:
Es que en la mañana escuché al patrón decirle a su señora que en la tarde le diera chicharrón a la gallina…
24
May
Cierta vez llega Tarzán a Cuba y es presentado al Comandante Fidel y le dice:
¡Hola, yo Tarzán!
Responde Fidel:
¡Hola, yo Castro!
Responde Tarzán:
¡Adiós!
24
May
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, Got any duck feed?
The clerk tells him, No, we dont have a market for it it so we dont carry it.
The duck says, Okay and leaves. The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, Got any duck feed?
Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, Got any duck feed?
The clerk says, Ive told you twice, we dont have duck feed, weve never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, Ill nail your feet to the floor.
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, Got any nails?
No, comes the reply.
Got any duck feed?
24
May
A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.
He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, Id see four!
The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, Youre drunker than I thought!, taking the rest of the alcohol away, That cat isnt coming in, its going out!
24
May
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
24
May
Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?
A: Zippo Marx.
24
May
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
Now, do you see that tree over there? he asked.
YES, YES, YES! the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
Good! said the first bat, Because I sure didnt!
24
May
You might be a redneck if…
Youve ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
24
May
Working for the military one often runs across some interesting stuff …
From a Russian document:
one of the serious problems in planning against American doctrine is that the Americans do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligations to follow their doctrine.
Quote from a German general officer:
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.