El médico se dirige a un tipo que estaba en la sala de espera:
Señor, le tengo una mala noticia: su madre, la que ayer se encontraba internada, ha…
No, esa no era mi madre, era mi suegra.
¡Ah, entonces le tengo una buena noticia!
23
Mar
23
Mar
McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
Scuse me, said another bar patron, who was puzzled over what McPherson had done. What was that all about?
Nothing, said the Irishman, my wife sent me out for a jar of olives.
23
Mar
Why was there 9 holes in the mirror?
The blonde tried to shoot herself.
23
Mar
Have you heard of the new all-black version of a Shakespearean comedy
called As You Likes It?
23
Mar
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
23
Mar
Oh, please excuse me! said the bunny. I didnt mean to trip over you, but Im blind and couldnt see you there.
Thats perfectly all right, replied the snake. It was MY fault. I didnt mean to trip you, but Im blind too, and I didnt see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?
Well, I really dont know, said the bunny. Since Im blind, Ive never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then well both know?So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, Well, youre soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose … you must be a BUNNY RABBIT! [The little blind bunny was so pleased at this that he danced with joy.] The bunny said, I cant thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?
The snake said he didnt know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, So, what kind of animal am I?
The bunny said, Youre hard, youre cold, youre slimy, and you havent got any balls — you must be a lawyer.
23
Mar
In Canada we have two Seasons…six months of winter and six months
of poor snowmobiling.
23
Mar
You might be a redneck if…
You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
23
Mar
On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litterbox.
23
Mar
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, Ive got to take you in, pal. Youre obviously drunk.Our wasted friend asked, Officer, are ya absolutely sure Im drunk?Yeah, buddy, Im sure, said the copper. Lets go.Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.