Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his clients jury to hold out
for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the state.
The jury was out for several days before they returned with the manslaughter verdict.
When Murphy paid the corrupt juror, he asked him if he had a very difficult time convincing the other jurors to see things his way.
Sure did, the juror replied, the other eleven wanted to acquit.
One day monica lewinsky walked into a dry cleaners to get her blue dress cleaned because it had a stain on it. She said to the employee I want this stain taken out of the dress the employee of the store was of japanese decent and didnt understand her so he said come again?
to which Monica replied NO!, its white-out!!!
Estaba un borracho en una esquina, cuando una mujer pasa caminando. El borracho la observa y dice: ¡Adios, fea!
La mujer, indignada, se da media vuelta y le dice: ¡Borracho!
El borracho con una sonrisa contesta: ¡SÃ, pero a mà mañana se me pasa!
Después de haberse cometido un robo en el convento de monjas, se presentó la PolicÃa.
Pregunta el PolicÃa:
¿Qué es lo que se robaron Madre Superiora?
100 sábanas.
Anote eso, dice el PolicÃa al secretario.
Todas las otras monjas dicen en Coro:
¡Y nos querÃan envenenar!
Continúa el policÃa:
¿Otra cosa que les robaron madre?
¡Ah! SÅ se robaron unos vasos.
Anote eso, dice el PolicÃa al secretario.
Otra vez el coro de las monjitas:
¡Y nos querÃan envenenar!
El Capitán se queda pensativo y pregunta:
¿Cómo es eso que las querÃan envenenar?
Es que los ladrones nos decÃan: ¡Si no se callan les echamos unos polvos!
An Issaquah, Washington man apparently became frustrated with his personal
computer, pulled out a gun and shot it. The computer, located in the mans
home office, had four bullets holes in its hard drive and one in the
monitor. Police evacuated the mans townhouse complex, contacted the irate
PC owner by phone, and persuaded him to come out. We dont know if it
wouldnt boot up or what, says one of the police officers at the scene.
St. Petersburg Times – July 20, 1997
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Why did the Blonde throw bread crumbs down the loo??
To feed the toilet duck!!!
A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesnt really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesnt exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesnt exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesnt exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck.
Q: How do you get 500 midgets into a Volkswagon?
A: You have to manufacture a Volkswagon large enough to accomidate 500 midgets. It wouldnt be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 500 midgets into a Volkswagon is solved.
gavinfx@yahoo.com
Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?A: To draw blood.