Old and New Jokes

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.

Johnnys dad walks into the bathroom and sees Johnny scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush.

His dad says, “What the hell are you doing!”

Johnny says, Theres no way Im getting a cavity like my sister

Your momma so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran out with a spoon!

There was a blonde speeding down the highway. A blonde cop pulls her over and asks to see her drivers licence. The blonde driver asks, What does it look like?

The blonde cop says, Its sqaure and has your picture on it.

The blonde driver pulls out a square makeup mirror and hands it to the blonde cop.

The blonde cop says Im sorry… I didnt realize you were a cop!

A3: Because they are easier to find in the dark.

First guy (proudly): My wifes an angel!
Second guy: Youre lucky, mines still alive.

A guy is swerving down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says, You have to take a Breathalyzer test. The guy says, I cant. I have asthma, and itll start me on a coughing fit.

The cop says, Then I have to give you a blood test. The guy says, You cant. Im a hemophiliac, and if you prick me, Ill bleed all over the place.

The cops says, Then you have to get out of the car and walk a straight line. The guy says, I cant. The cop says, Why not?

The guy says, Because Im drunk you idiot… didnt you see the way I was driving!

Not all banks are as solvent as we imagine them to be. I went into mine the other day and told the loan officer I was interested in a loan.

He smiled and replied, Thats great Mr. Moore! How much can you let us have?

A man asked his wife what shed like for her birthday. Id love to be six again, she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright
and early and off they went to a local theme park.What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of
Fear everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonalds they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie – the latest sci-fi epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a
fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, Well, dear, what was it like being six again? One eye opened. You idiot, I meant my dress size.The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

What is the thinnest book in the world?

What men know about women.