Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and cant remember her birthday.
15
Jul
15
Jul
Mouse pad – Where Mickey and Minnie live.
15
Jul
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
15
Jul
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet.
–Robin Williams
15
Jul
Knock knock
whose there?
avery
avery who?
aver is a gay homo that liks his dogs butt!
lol lol lol lo lol lol lo
15
Jul
Some Polish people decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they dont give up. They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too. They decide to write a letter to the Polish agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau: Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample.
15
Jul
An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies.
When the interview was over the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman.
Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?
After thinking for a while the Irishman took the pencil and drew a canopy of leaves on top of the three pairs of lines, and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not nine!
Oh yes it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine!
The interviewer handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99.
After thinking for a longer while the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not ninety nine!
Oh yes it is, said the Irishman, Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety nine.
The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all, therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100.
After thinking for a considerably longer time the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil and drew a little blop (hundelort) on the bottom right hand side of each three and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!
Oh yes it most certainly is, said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd make 100!!!
15
Jul
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
Whats the matter, Mr. President? The Vice President inquired.
Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed.
How long did it take you?
Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!
15
Jul
President George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in
and asks the barman, Isnt that Bush and Powell sitting over there?
The barman says, Yep, thats them.
So the guy walks over and says, Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys
doing in here?
Bush says, Were planning WW III.
And the guy says, Really? Whats going to happen?
Bush says, Well, were going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one blonde with big
tits.
The guy exclaimed, A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, See, smart ass?! I
told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!
15
Jul
The Lions practice was postponed today after one of the players found an unusual, white substance on the field. FBI field agents were quickly sent in to examine. After extensive research, the substance was found to be the endzone. Practice was then continued, the goverment sure that the Lions would never see it again.