Q: When did Clintons friends become sure that he had political ambitions?
A: When he married outside of his family.
22
Apr
22
Apr
1. El helicóptero con asiento eyector.
2. La linterna con baterÃa solar.
3. Un teléfono para ciegos que en vez de timbre tiene una luz.
4. Las cerillas a prueba de fuego.
5. Las bolsas de té impermeables.
6. ParacaÃdas con apertura por impacto.
7. Las puertas corredizas para submarinos.
8. La diana inflable para dardos.
9. Sillas de ruedas con pedales de acelerador y freno para parapléjicos, para que tengan las manos libres.
10. Ventilador accionado por viento.
11. Recargador de baterÃas que funciona con baterÃas.
12. Aire acondicionado enfriado con el ambiente.
13. Refrigeradora para esquimales.
15. Baños de vapor para el desierto.
15. Un secador de pelo a prueba de agua, ahorre tiempo úselo mientras se baña.
22
Apr
El marido le dice a su mujer:
¿Me podrÃas avisar, por favor, cuando tengas un orgasmo?
¡Pero cariño, si me dijiste que no podÃa llamarte al trabajo!
***
Una pareja está en un restaurante. El le dice a ella:
Mira, la chica del vestido rojo me está sonriendo.
¡Ya! La primera vez que te vi, yo también me oriné de la risa.
***
MarÃa, prométeme que cuando me muera te casarás con Antonio.
¡Pero, si es tu peor enemigo!
¡Pues por eso, que se joda!
***
Adán y Eva paseaban por el paraÃso. Y Eva pregunta:
Adán, ¿me amas?
Y Adán refunfuñando:
¿Tengo otra alternativa?
***
Le pregunta un pequeño a su padre:
Papá, ¿por qué te casaste con mamá?
Tú tampoco te lo explicas, ¿verdad?
22
Apr
What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?
They both feature 3 million people saying Jesus Christ!
22
Apr
A priest noticed that one of the nuns in the convent was getting a little chubby. Is there anything wrong? he asked her.
The nun replied, Its just gas!
As time went by he noticed she was getting very fat indeed.
Are you sure youre ok? he asked again. Yes, she replied. Its just gas!
One day, the priest saw the nun pushing a pram around. He stopped and peered inside. Hmm . . . cute little fart.
22
Apr
A man walks into a bar and sees a sign .
cheese rolls $2.00
ham rolls $2.00
hand jobs $10.00
so he sees an attractive blonde waitress and says to her do you do the hand jobs and she replies yes i do.
so he says well wash your hands i want a cheese roll.
22
Apr
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Ilka!
Ilka who?
Ilka-pone!
22
Apr
A woman walks into her sex therapists office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened.
The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic telling the therapist that the pill worked and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills and the therapist says shedoesnt know, but to go ahead and try it.
The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist that the sex was even better than the night before and what would happen if she gave him five pills. The therapist says she doesnt know, but to go ahead and try it.
The next day, the woman comes in limp but happy, and tells the therapist thatthe sex just keeps getting better and what would happen if she gave her husband the rest of the bottle. The therapist says she doesnt know; its an experimental drug and she doesnt know what a full bottle could do to a person.
Anyway, the woman leaves the therapists office and put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husbands morning coffee.
A week later, a boy walks into the therapists office and says: Are you the dumb fuck who gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?
Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?
Well, moms dead, my sisters pregnant, my ass hurts, and dads sittin in the corner going Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…
22
Apr
At a doctors surgery one morning a patient arrives complaining of
serious backache. The doctor examines him and asks himWhat
the hell did you do to your back?
The patient replies You know that I work for a local night club? Today
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been sleeping with my wife and
the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not
find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out
and he was dressing himself.I grabbed the fridge and threw it at
him,Thats how I strained my back
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor says My previous looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell
happened to you? He replies, You know I have been unemployed for a
while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my
alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting
dressed at the same time, and you wont believe it but I was hit by a
fridge.
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients
do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, What the hell happened to you?
Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor!
22
Apr
Top Ten Signs You are an Internet Geek…
10. When filling out your drivers license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is Hi, whats your URL?
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
7. Youre amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You ping people to see if theyre awake, finger them to find out how they are, and AYT them to make sure theyre listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as my lady@home.wife and refer to your children as client applications.
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as my domain server.
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, I feel so colon-right parentheses!
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: Pizzas Here!