A friend of mine had no life insurance, but he did have plenty of fire insurance. His widow, practical woman that she was, had him cremated.

Yet another friend was just the opposite. He almost busted the family budget with his many life insurance policies. In fact, every time he left the house, his wife would stand in the door, wave, and say, Take chances!

My insurance company reduced my rates again for not having any vehicle accidents. As my agent presented the award, he wanted to know the secret of driving for so many years accident free. I told him, Easy, I read a long time ago that 4 out of every 10 accidents are alcohol related. I always drink before I drive to have the odds in my favor.

Damn fool wanted to cancel my policy on the spot.

One of the benefits allowed Maryland State Highway employees when they retire is group life insurance.

I signed up for the maximum. Now, if I die in a group, Mrs JimJr will be one rich lil lady.

When one of the neighbors boys got married, I told him it was time to start thinking about some life insurance.

He said, Nah, Mr. Jim. I dont think Bonnies that dangerous.

In retrospect, I guess I should have gone with the Allstate Insurance Company. All of their TV commercials show them giving people a hand. All my insurance company has ever given me was the finger.