Whats Really Going To Happen At The Year 2000:



99 Bottles of Beer song gets stuck in an infinite loop



At the stroke of midnight on 12/31/1999, Windows 99* turns back into DOS 1.0; the Pentium* V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left holding a beautiful glass mouse.



Internet Movie Database now lists 1901: A Space Odyssey.



Bob Doles age erroneously listed with only two digits.



Sales of Coca-Cola jump drastically after original cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again.



Software engineers point out that since computers think its almost 1900, we technically have to party like its 1899 (which, frankly, doesnt seem like that much fun).



Microsoft declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the Gatesian Calendar.



Jesus shows up late for His Second Coming; blames it on COBOL programmers.



Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson mistakenly takes home some octogenarians.



Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe personnel shortage at McDonalds restaurants.