Old and New Jokes

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: Sorry, but we
dont
serve minors. So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth
between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out
flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough.A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, Excuse
me. Ill just be a second. An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is
not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender
notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: Get out now!
Youre the seventh minor Ive found in this bar tonight.The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a
3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a
nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: Youre looking sharp
tonight, come on in! This could be a major development. This proves to be
the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands
there au natural.Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that hes under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution
of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale
correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any
wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are
bassless.The bartender decides, however, that since hes only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble,
he needs a rest – and closes the bar.