Old and New Jokes

I heard a

noise

I noticed you were

almost asleep



You

Want

You

Want



We

Need

I

Want



Its your

decision

The correct

decision should be obvious by now



Do what you

want

Youll pay for this

later



We need to

talk

I need to

complain



Sure…go

ahead

I dont want you

to



Youre certainly

attentive tonight

Is sex all you ever

think about?



Im not

emotional!

Im not having a

period



This kitchen is so

inconvenient

I want a new

house…and curtains and carpeting, furniture…



Hang the picture

there

No, I mean hang it

there!



Do you love

me?

Im going to ask

for something expensive



Ill be ready in a

minute.

Kick off your shoes

and find a good game on T.V.



You have to learn

to communicate.

Just agree with

me.



Are you listening

to me!?

Too late, your a

goner



Im

sorry.

Youll be

sorry.



No

Yes



Maybe

No



Do you like this

recipe?

Its easy to fix,

so youd better get get used to it



Im not

yelling!

Yes I am yelling

because I think this is

important.