Old and New Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… like a telephone… on his hand, then talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him that this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesnt need any trouble here.



The guy says, You dont understand. Im very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.



The bartender says Prove it. The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation.



Thats incredible, says the bartender…I would never have believed it!



Yeah, said the guy, I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the mens room? The bartender directs him to the mens room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesnt return. Fearing the worst, given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the mens room.



There is the guy spread- eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. Oh my god! said the bartender. Did they rob you? Are you hurt?



The guy turns to him and says: No, Im ok… Im just waiting for a fax.