Old and New Jokes

This guy is sitting in a bar drunk.

He asks the bartender wheres the bathroom at?



The bartender said, go down the hall and make a right.



Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again.



This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, Whats all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away.



The drunk said, Im sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out my balls.



With that, the bartender looks in and says, No wonder, youre sitting on a mop bucket you asshole!!