Old and New Jokes

If you type these in from the csh (c shell): in Unix you really do get

these responses.



% make love

Make: Dont know how to make love. Stop.



% got a light?

No match.



% sleep with me

bad character



% man: Why did you get a divorce?

man: Too many arguments.



% make heads or tails of all this

Make: Dont know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.



% make sense

Make: Dont know how to make sense. Stop.



% make mistake

Make: Dont know how to make mistake. Stop.



% make bottle.open

Make: Dont know how to make bottle.open. Stop.



% (-

(-: Command not found.



% make light

Make: Dont know how to make light. Stop.



% date me

You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988



% man rear

No manual entry for rear.



% If I had a ) for every dollar Clinton spent, what would I have?

Too many )s.



% * How would you describe Clinton

*: Ambiguous.



% %Vice-President

%Vice-President: No such job.



% ls Meese-Ethics

Meese-Ethics not found



% How would you rate Clintons senility?

Unmatched .



% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ]. |



% ^How did the^sex change operation go?

Modifier failed.



% who is my match?

No match.



% set i=Democratic_Platform;mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i

Democratic_Platform unreadable



% awk Polly, the ship is sinking

awk: syntax error near line 1

awk: bailing out near line



% thou shalt not commit adultery

thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.