(Originally posted by J. Allen Schones (jal@tiger.UUCP) last January.)

Rum Cake

Before you start, sample the rum and check for good quality.
Good, isnt it?

Now select a large mixing bowl, measuring cups, spatula, etc.
(Check that rum again for quality. It must be just right!
Try it again.)

With an electric beater, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again. (Meanwhile, make certain
that rum is of best quality.)

Add two large eggs and two cups of dried fruit and beat until very
high. If fruit gets stuck in the beater, pry it out with a
screwdriver. (Sample rum again, checking for consistency.)

Next, sift in three (2) cups of baking powder and add a pinch
of rum, one seaspoon of soda and one cupa papper…(or maybe
salt?) Anyway, dont fret, just taste that rum again. Good
stuff.

Next, sift in a half pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk
and strained nuts. Sample rum again.

Now, one bablespoon srown sugar, or whatever color is around. Mix.
Well.

Grease your oven and turn cake pans to 359F. Now, pour the whole
mixture into the oven … (HONEY? WHERES THE MOP??)

On second thought, forget the oven, pitch the cake and check
the rest of the rum. Bo to ged.

Gordon Davisson