Old and New Jokes

Curators at Indias Baroda Museum reportedirreparable damage to a priceless 3,000-year-old mummy, done by an overzealous cleaningperson who apparently opened the mummys case and vacuumed the body. The vacuum removedancient dust, peeled toe paint, sucked off part of the nose, and loosened bandages. An anti-logging protester from radical EarthFirst! was killed near Fortuna, CA, when one of the trees fell on him. In an unconfirmed report, a spokesperson for theItalian Gattinoni fashion house announced Monica Lewinsky has agreed to model a bluetwo-piece suit there during an October “Roma Outsize” fashion show in Milan. Shellsupposedly get $470,000, half of which will go to charity…. Gattinoni recently unveiled a flesh-colored skin-tight “condom dress” decorated withViagra pills. Saturday in Beaumont TX a 20-minute halftimebrawl erupted between the Southern University and Prairie View A&M marching bands asthe formations passed each other. Three people were taken to the hospital, four $5,000tubas were bent, and one saxophone plus several pieces of uniform were reported missing. Avon is finally eschewing its all-door-to-door selling strategy and starting retail discount outlets. Octobers National Geographic will be the magazines first with a scent strip. Its a scientific recreation of Cleopatras perfume.