Old and New Jokes

A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothings even moving.

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, Excuse me officer, whats the hold up?

The officer replies, The President just found out he was impeached and hes all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and hes threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesnt have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. Im walking around taking up a collection for him.

Oh really? How much have you collected so far?

Ive got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three hundred gallons.