A man is drowning in the sea.Help me, Lord, he cries.



Just then, a fishing trawler comes by. Climb on board yells the skipper.



No, no, no, says the drowning man. The Lord will save me.



OK,we will be on our way, then, replies the captain.



Two minutes later a rescue helicopter landed along-side the poor chap, and the pilot threw a rope into the fierce waves. I do not need any help, cries the breathless man, The Lord will come and rescue me.



Moments later the guy drowns, and finds himself in heaven. On meeting God, the man weeps: Lord, I was waiting for you to rescue me from my watery tomb. Why did you not save me?



God replies: You daft sod. I sent you a boat and a bloody helicopter!