Old and New Jokes

A sergeant-major in the Paras was giving a lecture to some raw recruits.

If you want to be part of this regiment, he shouted at them, then you need to have COMMITMENT! What do you need?

COMMITMENT, sergeant-major! the recruits all shouted back.

Right, I shall now demonstrate my COMMITMENT to this regiment.

The sergeant-major then ordered one of the men to open a nearby door. Almost as soon as the squaddie turned the handle, the door was pushed open and in slithered a ten-foot-long alligator, snarling and snapping. The sergeant-major then undid his belt and dropped his trousers. Almost as soon as he did so, the alligator ran up and sank his teeth right into the sergeant-majors love truncheon. The sergeant-major barely winced. This, he shouted. is what we in the Parachute Regiment call COMMITMENT! He weaited several seconds more to make his point and then swiftly jabbed the alligator in both eyes with his fingers.

The alligator flipped over on his back, jumped up, and ran into the corner of the office, glaring angrily at the sergeant-major.

That, you orrible bunch, is what we in the Paras call COMMITMENT. Now which one of you orrible little men is ready to demonstrate his COMMITMENT?

There was much shuffling of feet and murmuring until finally one young lad stepped forward. I, will sergeant-major, he said but youve got to promise not to poke me in the eyes.