Annals of legal etiquette

My wife received a copy of the following at her law firm. It purports to be
true. For those of you who dont know, a deposition is a transcript of
pre-trial testimony. These transcripts tend to be thick documents.

To: all attorneys
Subject: Depositions and Their Use

A friend sent me the following portion of a transcript, which was confirmed
with one of the counsel involved (Ms. Olschner) and subsequently posted on
Lexis Counsel Connect. The transcript is from Birmingham, Alabama, although
the use of a deposition of a party opponent for any purpose is also in the
federal rules. We have no word on what had happened immediately prior to this

The Court: Next witness.

Ms. Olschner: Your Honor, at this time I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the
head with his clients deposition.

The Court: You mean read it?

Ms. Olschner: No, sir. I mean to swat him [in] the head with it. Pursuant to
Rule 32, I may use the deposition for any purpose and that is the purpose
for which I want to use it.

The Court: Well, it does say that.


The Court: There being no objection, you may proceed.

Ms. Olschner: Thank you, Judge Hanes.

(Whereupon Ms. Olschner swatted Mr. Buck in the head with a deposition.)

Mr. Buck: But Judge…

The Court: Next witness.

Mr. Buck: We object.

The Court: Sustained. Next witness.

End transcript.

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