Picture the scene, three bosnian soldiers sitting in a bombed out building in Bihac. Bombs exploding, shells whistling over their heads etc.

Bosnian Soldier (B.S.) 1 says Its no good, its exactly three weeks two days and 14 hours since I last got laid. I cant cope anymore, I really need a fuck!

BS 2 and 3 You cant get out, youll never survive, theres bombs and stuff going off everywhere.

BS 1 No its no good, i need to get a bit, see you, he promptly jumps out of the building and yomps off to the sound of machine gun fire, and a couple of mortar rounds.

BS 2 Well thats the last well see of him, hell not survive, and if he does get a bit he wont come back.

24 hours later they are still sitting there thinking that thats it, he hasnt survived, hell not be back, when the machine guns start again. BS 1 jumps over the wall into the shelter.

WOW, the best 24 hours sex ive ever had!! I got the lot! Me on top, her on top, two at once, the lot Ive never had as much as that before in my life.

BS 2 Thats all very well but did you get a blow job then?

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No I couldnt find one with a head on!

Sorry, sick I know, I heard it from a Royal Navy Nursing Officer ( the caring profession ?)