Two Kiwi guys are working at the top of a high rise building site in New Zealand. Anyway, Phul (Phil) turns to Muck (Mick) & says Ive gotta take a puss, but theres nowhere to go.

Walk out to the end of that plank replies Muck. Ill stand on this end and balance you.

Are You sure Muck?

Yeah, no worries mate

100%?

YES!

So out goes Phul to take a piss, but before hes finished, the lunch siren sounds. Muck forgets what hes supposed to be doing and steps off the plank. Phul, of course, is a goner.

Several months later, an Australian, a Frenchman and a bloke from New Zealand are sitting in a pub discussing which of their respective nations chase women the hardest.

Greg the Aussie says, Mate, Ive been known to miss out on a piss-up session down the pub with me mates trying to crack on to sheilas!

Pierre the Frenchman says Non, non, non. We French chase ze women weeth much zest and geev to zem gifts of love like French champagne to ween zeir affection. Eet ees us for sure

Meanwhile Bob (the Kiwi) sits laughing & says No, you blokes are both wrong. The other month I was walking past a building site in Auckland, following these two gorgeous looking birds, and this bloke came plummeting from the sky with his dick in his hand screaming: CUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTT!!!

(Thanks to Mick Plumbly)