Old and New Jokes

Ratio of an igloos circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscopeTime between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecondWeight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigramTime it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because its less filling: 1 lite year16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod SerlingHalf of a large intestine: 1 semicolon1000 aches: 1 megahurtzBasic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepowerShortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles365.25 days: 1 unicycle2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 10 cards: 1 decacards1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin10 rations: 1 decoration100 rations: 1 C-ration2 monograms: 1 diagram8 nickels: 2 paradigms2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League