Heres a little clarification of corporate lingo.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: Youll need it to replace three people who just left.



PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: Youre walking into a company in perpetual chaos.



REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: Youll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.



GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.



IM EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:Ive used Microsoft Office.



IM HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.



MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you dont ask me about all the McJobs Ive had.



I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.



IM PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.



IM EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer.



I AM ADAPTABLE: Ive changed jobs a lot.



I AM ON THE GO: Im never at my desk.



IM HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, Im outta there.



I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON: Like, Im gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.