Old and New Jokes

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men – but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes – theres no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change & she does. 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. There are 2 times when a man doesnt understand a woman – before marriage & after marriage.