Things Dogs Must Remember…



I will not play tug-of-war with Dads underwear when hes on the toilet.



The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.



I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when Im lying under the coffee table.



I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.



I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.



I will not eat the cats food, before or after they eat it.



I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.



I will not throw up in the car.



I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.



I will not lick my humans face after eating animal poop.



Kitty box crunchies are not food.



I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.



The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.



I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.



I will not chew my humans toothbrush and not tell them.



I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.



When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when its raining outside.



We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.



I will not steal my Moms underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.



The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dads laps.



My head does not belong in the refrigerator.



I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for Moms drivers license and car registration.