Defense Attorney: Would you please state your age to the court for the record.

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us in your own words, what happened to you on the night in question.

Little Old Lady: There I was sitting on my porch swing on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up the porch stairs and sits down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: Then what happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Lady: Well, he started to rub my thighs.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didnt.

Defense Lawyer: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody has done that since my Dan passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: Then what happened?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: Well your honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I hadnt felt that good in years.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, I started to feel so spicy that I said to him, Take me young man.

Defense Attorney: And did he take you?

Little Old Lady: No. Thats when he yelled April Fool!.. And thats when I shot him.