A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it.

He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.

She says, Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it. He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.

She says, Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because..because Ive got heartburn.

The bartender says, Look, lady…its not beertender, its bartender. Its not a martuni, its a martini. Its not a dribble, its a double. Thats not a pickle, its an onion. And you havent got heartburn, You have your left tit in the Ashtray!