Pauly and Maury are out drinking one night when Maury turns to his pal and says, You know, I dont know what else to do. Whenever I go home after weve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to my street. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house; I sneak up the stairs; I get undressed in the dark, but my wife wakes up and I catch hell for staying out so late!

Pauly looks at him and says, Well, youre obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, You as horny as I am? … and she always acts like shes sound asleep!