09
May

If Microsoft built cars…

A particular model year of car wouldnt be available until AFTER that year instead of before it.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, youd have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would just die for no reason. Youd have to restart it, and for some strange reason, youd just accept this.
You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought the Car 95 or Car NT Version, but then youd have to buy more seats.
You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec, its that way NOW.
Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but only run on 5% of the roads.
The oil, alternator, fuel, temperature, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single General Car Fault warning light.
People would get excited about the new features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they have been available in other brands for years.
We would be still waiting on the 6000 SUX58 model to come out.
Wed all have to switch to Microsoft Fuel ™.
Lee Iacocca would be hired on as Bill G.s chauffeur.
The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automobile manufacturer instead of giving them.
New seats will be forcing everyone to have the same size bum.
Ford, General Motors & Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.
The new Car 95 and Car NT would be advertised as now having advanced features like tyres and an engine, totally ignoring the fact that these would normally be considered essential items.
Each car would have a fabulous paint job and lots of chrome work, but asolutely no interiour or boot space.
Even though the spedometer in the car is calibrated up to 200 Km/h, for some reason you never seem able to get it to go any faster than 50.
The Cars manual tells you there is a spare tyre in case you have a flat, but one isnt supplied with the standard vehicle.
The car is supposedly compatible with a bewildering array of accessories, but when you actually purchase one they never seem to fit just right. (Not that real cars are any different!)
It looks and runs like a small four, but for some reason consumes fuel like a big V8.
The car would be promoted zipping along on the Information Super Highway. But in reality, would simply be responsible for pollution and congestion of the worlds electronic roadways.

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